Lumps,bumps and the art of not giving a crap

Belfast, Personal, Plus size, Positivity

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My love my love my love my love
You love my lady lumps- Fergie

I know, I know how elegant a title you are probably now wondering to what level of Shakespearean quality am I about to type, what beautiful sonnet doth my hands yearn to type but alas that is not my style. Instead I decided to begin with a Fergie lyric. I wanted to update you all on my journey in the last couple of years of self acceptance leading to self love. Believe me if there was a ten step programme to this then I would be currently typing in my own private yacht on the outskirts of some beautiful Greek island, This journey is totally different for everyone involved. For some it will take years whilst others might reach their temporary end point much sooner and what is so crucial is that we learn to not measure our own growth against others.

I call it a temporary end because I truly believe that I dont think that we ever finished with self love and acceptance because as we age change and develop so to do our feelings and emotional requirements. T-j in 2017 is a totally different creature than T-j of 2007 full of different needs and emotions and it is so important to learn to adapt to that need. What reignited this interest for me was recently I have been have several different conversations with girls I know through social media, in real life and everything in between about a variety of topics which all centre around the theme of self love.

To get started my core principal all revolves around the art of not actually giving a crap about the option of others, within reason. I dont advocate being ignorant or knowingly rude however it is your life, look and body and you are the only one you have to make happy. If you like it wear it, it you want bright yellow hair then bleach it. I understand all of this is easier said than done and it is hard if maybe those around you aren’t supportive of your decisions, you come up against work constraints or whatever it may be but as long as it doesn’t negatively impact you then what do you have to lose? the experimentation stage doesn’t end when your teenage years do. If you want to experiment go for it ! The key to it is to not place excess credit in others.  Something I struggled with massively is the concept of if you dont see it then you can’t be it. Growing up there were not alot of plus-size people in the media. The plus-size character in a show was the funny one, a one dimensional character who didn’t get to add alot to the plot of the show, and don’t get me started on the lack of any plus-size models on the scene I saw Crystal Renn during her plus-size heyday when I was in my mid teens but at that point I had already spent 14 years as a tall, chunky, ginger so I had began to develop my own sense of self. I mean I had no confidence but I was developing my “style.”

These days I would definitely say I have found a way to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. Don’t get me wrong I have off days that is 100% normal but now I place my measure in how something makes me feel as opposed to worrying if it is going to be liked by others, for example this look. If you had told me even 6 months ago I would be parading around Belfast in a mesh top with a bralet I would have called you crazy. Now  it doesn’t fill me with dread I was actually super in to this look and decided to shoot it in several of my favourite locations.

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 I want to continue with this series of talking more openly and creating the coversation about body image on this platform so please do let me know what topics you would like me to cover. 

OUTFIT DETAILS

Mesh top- Ebay

Bralette- New Look Curves

Culottes- Primark

Trainers- Primark

Denim Jacket- Primark

My Soul- Primark

 

 

BYTAYLORJAYNE

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Plus Confidence 2014: The wrong kind of fat

Fashion, Lifestyle, Plus size

Firstly I want to begin this post by explaining its purpose, about three weeks ago via twitter I discovered a Facebook event organised by the lovely Anita from Plus confidence

Anita: http://plusconfidenceinyou.wix.com/anita-bellamy

From my understanding it is a movement trying to encourage as many bloggers as possible to put up similar posts dealing with issues with confidence and self love all on the same day 30th June 2014. As soon as I found the event I knew it was something that I wanted to be a part of because one of my passions in life is to promote a healthier body image for girls to aspire to and to teach girls and boys about how to truly love yourself.

I will start my post by saying, I dont love myself, it may seem odd and stupid to be admitting to this after just saying that its what I want to teach but I need to be truthful and honest if I am going to make this post matter. I am 21 years old and have struggled with confidence and self acceptance all of my life, I have suffered with anxiety and panic for at least the last ten years although I know in my heart it is much longer than this, however at this point I want to ensure that this isn’t a woe is me post about how tough life has been because for every tough and horrible moment a moment of joy and peacefulness is there to act as  a counter balance. I just feel like giving some back ground is the best way to give an understanding to my thought processes and how I have now come to accept myself and love all my flaws.

Confidence by definition is full trust, belief in powers, belief in oneself and ones powers and self reliance

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We where asked as part of this event to share an image where you have felt confident and for me this image is probably one of my favourite images of myself that I have.  The reason being that I was at a point in the year where although I was stressed trying to get all my assignments in for the next few weeks but for a couple of hours I was focused on portraying myself as a designer for the Unify competition. Although I didn’t end up in the top 3 I was so pleased to have made it top 6 and to get the chance to have some images taken for local press. I was confident here because I was doing what I love, I was at a point of the year where I could see any end. I believed in my designs and was starting to get so much positive feedback that I knew I was doing the right thing.  My journey to get into my fashion course was a long and sometimes very strained one that to be at the point I am now I never saw coming.

As I previously mentioned body confidence is something I really struggle with so for me having my photo taken is a bit of an ordeal, I have always preferred to be behind the camera instead of in front ( unless I am controlling it)   I think that even being plus-size you can still feel intimidated by plus size models in magazines, even the models that are supposed to be aimed towards me are still a body type that I cannot relate to, every model that I see is still five foot nine and a size twelve to fourteen. I am five foot eight and a size sixteen to twenty four dependent on brand and cut.I called this post the wrong kind of fat because that it how society makes me feel, even being in a niche market such as plus-size I still dont fit what society wants me to conform to.  I still find myself struggling to find models I can relate to, I however have taken to online blogs to find my own inspirational figures which for me include:

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Tess Munster – http://tessmunster.com/

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Mary Lambert- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-z9XuuyLEYnadiaaboulhosnstreetwear_zps12ccec7bNadia Aboulhoson- http://www.nadiaaboulhosn.com/

Another big part of finding inspiration for me is instagram, I have found so so many beautiful confident plus-size women through the hastag #effyourbeautystandards. I know myself that I have a long way to go with securing my confidence levels but I have come up with 5 simple points that have helped me:

1.  Wear what makes you happy– apple shape pear shape hourglass whatever ! wear what you feel happy in because when something makes you feel happy you will be at your most confident if you dont like something it will immediately show through your attitude and face.

2. True confidence comes from within- as cliche as it sounds you have to start from the inside out when trying to improve your confidence levels, if like me anxiety has a huge part to play in your confidence levels ensure that you have your anxiety controlled before you can even begin to work on your confidence levels. For me its a simple as pre-planning an outfit the day before or taking half an hour out of my day to do something for myself

3. Surround yourself with good people– to many times in my life I have had negative people around me and I believe you really absorb your energies from what you have around you

4. You get back what you put out-  One of my strongest beliefs in life is that you get back everything that you put out. If you are negative then negativity will find you whereas being confident and positive even when you aren’t feeling it will slowly but surely help improve your mood

5. eff your beauty standards- As I previously mentioned effyourbeautystandards is a great online movement, spreading the message that we have to ignore societys pre set beauty standards and find our own. society is stuck in a size 0 world and unfortunately despite best efforts I feel like it will take a long time to change so we have to do our best to show that you can be any size, shape, colour, gender, religion, sexual orientation whatever and you can still being amazing and beautiful!

I hope that this post was helpful to you guys I am going to make confidence post a regular thing on my blog but I wanted to use this bloggers unite challenge to begin this journey with you guys.

If you want any more information please email me or check out the links down below

http://plusconfidenceinyou.wix.com/anita-bellamy

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1764174458/definition-of-size

Until next time, bye guys! xo