Being Fat is a Temporary State

Personal, Plus size, Positivity, Self love

IMG_3555w

I got such an incredible response to my previous post called No New Years Resolutions so I want to first start by saying thank you guys so so much, it was so nerve wrecking hitting publish on such a personal post however within about 2 minutes I started getting an incredible response and knew I had made the right decision. I have decided that I want to make these more personal posts I more regular part of the blog and have began planning the new few. This post however is slightly more organic in construction as it is inspired by a post I have just seen on Tumblr, I am slightly obsessed with Tumblr ( find me HERE) anyway I was scrolling down my feed when I came across a post by a lovely girl called Haya talking about her own body image and she brought up a point which really resonated with me:

“Also pretty tired of calling myself fat and having people jump to disagree with me and tell me I’m beautiful, as if it’s impossible to be both.

No one had to tell me that it’s okay to be fat. I just kinda figured it out on my own. ”   source blog linked HERE

 I think this struck such a cord with me because it is something I am often faced with. I have never been the type of person to dance around a subject I can therefore be incredibly blunt with things aka I will call a spade a spade. I do however draw a line and will not insult anyone else but if I dont agree with a point you will totally be aware of it pretty quickly. I can be strong willed ( a nicer term for stubborn isn’t it)  I thank my parents for this. They have been such incredible role models and I have grown into a person unafraid to speak my mind.

222

Just as a quick sort of disclaimer I do not mean to offend anyone, I am totally aware that people reading this will have said or brought up some of the points that I am going to mention and I don’t get annoyed at you personally it is an immediate social response, not your own doing. My main issue involves a situation such as this, I will talking in a group or one on one with a person and we are just chatting away and then I will make a remark about my size and immediately someone will jump in with something like, don’t be silly , your beautiful, stop saying that about yourself. Now just to state right now I am completely aware that these statements are meant with the best intent. They are not meant to offend or annoy but some part of me cannot help but take offence.  I know it is a human reaction that when someone addresses them self in a way that you deem negative that the instant response is to try and counter it by telling them the opposite however I just stopped agreeing that being fat means that you are any less beautiful. For me personally the word fat is to be used as a descriptive term, in the same way I describe myself as tall and ginger I also describe myself as fat. I am not trying to pretend to be something that I clearly am not I am fat, I have accepted it so why can’t everyone else.I totally understand that there is a strong counter agruement to this, that alot of people don’t feel other people have the right to judge their appearance and make that decision because what is fat, if you are a size 6 and someone else is a 12 is that fat or if someone is an 18 and you are a 28 are they fat? I am not condoning going around calling everyone fat because as I have stated some people will take this as offence however the point I am wanting to make is that if someone is already identifying them-self as fat that you dont jump in to correct them. Fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive they can totally co-exist together in harmony.

IMG_3555

One theory that has risen time and time again whilst researching for my dissertation on the plus-size fashion market is the theory that being fat is a temporary state. I was watching the new channel 4 programme Weighing up the Enemy  which stars Dr Jessen from embarrassing bodies. I was informed about the programme by a friend who said episode one contained a section about plus-size fashion. He was talking to some English plus-size bloggers about the relation between  more availability of plus-size clothing and an increasing unwillingness to change. It is an undeniable fact that obesity is on the rise, I cannot dispute that but I thought the programme brought up some interesting theories that really made me begin to think was having more choice a bad thing did it make people less concerned with addressing the issue at hand because now more and more companies where producing fashionable pieces in larger sizes. But them I realised that this wasn’t how the situation should be viewed, again as I previously mentioned being fat to me is the same as being tall and ginger so I realised that I shouldn’t feel any kind of guilt for this that I should not be grateful to shops for catering to a larger size range. If I ever feel the need to address my size it is on my time and nothing to do with society, I will not be sized out of fashion. It is the same with maternity lines and petite it is something which is needed in-stores. This is another story for another post however because I could go on all day about this!

IMG_3555uu

As I have previously mentioned I struggle with social anxiety, I struggle to be in large spaces such as walking through the city centre without my headphones. I have had many occasion where I have accidently completely ignored people because I am just not listening to anything but the music. This usually works however one big trigger area I find is eating alone in public or eating with people who are new to me. I find that if I am alone I can feel judgements being made regarding what I am eating, for example, when I am eating with people the comments usually go as follows, ” are you trying to be good? ” ” are you dieting” I feel that’s what makes it so hard for me to become comfortable eating in public because of fear of judgement. Although as I previously mentioned these comments are never meant any way but nicely I still can struggle receiving them, If I am eating a salad it is because that is what I wanted to eat. If I am eating a entire birthday cake ( an over exaggeration I am aware but trying to illustrate a point) then that is also ok. My diet is not your concern, and again I know society has us believe that anyone who is deemed plus-size must be constantly trying to slim down I am here to say that in my case , that isn’t the case. Of course I am aware I need to get myself eating alot healthier than I am currently but that is something for me to work on in my own time. I sometimes get really annoyed with myself for allowing myself to feel like this and to worry what others think, I shouldn’t let the judgement of others effect how I personally feel but I can’t help it.I know deep down that I am the only person who can judge me so as again I mentioned in the new years post to a certain extent I have finally accepted my size but there is always going to be alot of ifs and buts to this rule.

If you guys take anything from this post I want to create a concious thought amongst society that being fat and beautiful aren’t a one or the other type situation to find yourself in. I am tired of having to justify my appearance just because it doesn’t suite the opinions of everyone.

 I hope once again that you guys enjoy the more personal posts as much as I enjoy doing them, There is something very therapeutic about writing them.

Until next time…T-j xo

Advertisements

Bye bye Summer, I have Fall-en for another

Beauty, Fashion, Haul, Plus size, Shopping, Wishlist

I admit defeat, I was wrong I tried to hold on to summer. I like the rest of Northern Ireland have been clasping onto the idea that we would get a second wind of summer but alas one week before the start of September I will admit defeat. However despite being in a certain degree of mourning for the loss of summer I am getting so excited for Fall and Winter. I have a slight obsession with layering and scarves not helped at all by the fact the in work at the minute we are getting all our big deliveries of fall and winter goodies ( I work in a clothing and accessory shop) I have already bought myself three new incredible blanket scarves in the last couple of weeks alone!

Now myself and the rest of Northern Ireland will be packing away summer in the next few weeks and bringing down the winter woollies, I already have my gorgeous wool coats of out storage.  Going through my wardrobe I have noticed a few gaps for key pieces that would work right the way through the winter, so I decided to have a look online at some of my favourite stores to find some new wardrobe updates. Another factor in influencing this move was attending the Belfast Fashion Week launch event last Thursday.

 

926571_1504727756434569_1473313795_a 10616975_714968035219473_1377941784_a

The event was held in the Life church venue in town, probably one of the coolest venues I have seen used for BFW, we where talked through some of the key looks as well as the full running order for fashion week, I am so excited to get to see all the looks pulled together in the upcoming months!

So after this my fate was sealed and I dived head first into online “window” shopping for some new wardrobe updates.

image1xxl

Probably already a staple in most peoples wardrobes I have been after a leather jacket for probably the last couple of years at least, one of my favourites that I have come across is this ASOS curve textured version that can be found here:  http://www.asos.com/ASOS-Curve/ASOS-CURVE-Biker-With-Zip-Detail/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4084090

image4xxl

Sticking to the layering idea another piece which I have seen become a huge trend is the long line or maxi cardigan. This is a great layering piece and would look just as well under the leather jacket as it would teamed with a duster coat: http://www.asos.com/ASOS-Curve/ASOS-CURVE-Exclusive-Maxi-Cardigan-In-Jersey/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4519036&cid=9577&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Black

image1xl (3) image1xxl (1)

 

These New Look joggers available in Black and Leopard are another great way to do a relaxed sports luxxe look: http://www.asos.com/New-Look-Inspire/New-Look-Inspire-Animal-Print-Jogger/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4360402&cid=9577&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=204&sort=-1&clr=Multi

16L10RBLK_large

These Evans statement trousers are probably one of my favourite things I have discovered the monochrome colour scheme keeps them from being too much for the colder months but still when your buried under a giant scarf and coat combo they would add a fashiony edge: http://www.evans.co.uk/en/evuk/product/clothing-250468/view-all-clothing-1880780/evans-black-white-aztec-jersey-trouser-3248678?bi=1&ps=200

321420001

And to finish the looks I found New Look who are one of my favourite high street shoe retailers for their super speedy takes on expensive shoes have copied the Nike Roshe Runs for only £19.99 http://www.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/black-textured-trainers-_321420001

As you can see I focused on trousers and jackets because you will be hidden under so many layers that tops wont be seen

What are you guys looking to add to your Autumn Wardrobes, let me know in the comments!

Tj xo

Plus Confidence 2014: The wrong kind of fat

Fashion, Lifestyle, Plus size

Firstly I want to begin this post by explaining its purpose, about three weeks ago via twitter I discovered a Facebook event organised by the lovely Anita from Plus confidence

Anita: http://plusconfidenceinyou.wix.com/anita-bellamy

From my understanding it is a movement trying to encourage as many bloggers as possible to put up similar posts dealing with issues with confidence and self love all on the same day 30th June 2014. As soon as I found the event I knew it was something that I wanted to be a part of because one of my passions in life is to promote a healthier body image for girls to aspire to and to teach girls and boys about how to truly love yourself.

I will start my post by saying, I dont love myself, it may seem odd and stupid to be admitting to this after just saying that its what I want to teach but I need to be truthful and honest if I am going to make this post matter. I am 21 years old and have struggled with confidence and self acceptance all of my life, I have suffered with anxiety and panic for at least the last ten years although I know in my heart it is much longer than this, however at this point I want to ensure that this isn’t a woe is me post about how tough life has been because for every tough and horrible moment a moment of joy and peacefulness is there to act as  a counter balance. I just feel like giving some back ground is the best way to give an understanding to my thought processes and how I have now come to accept myself and love all my flaws.

Confidence by definition is full trust, belief in powers, belief in oneself and ones powers and self reliance

 4

We where asked as part of this event to share an image where you have felt confident and for me this image is probably one of my favourite images of myself that I have.  The reason being that I was at a point in the year where although I was stressed trying to get all my assignments in for the next few weeks but for a couple of hours I was focused on portraying myself as a designer for the Unify competition. Although I didn’t end up in the top 3 I was so pleased to have made it top 6 and to get the chance to have some images taken for local press. I was confident here because I was doing what I love, I was at a point of the year where I could see any end. I believed in my designs and was starting to get so much positive feedback that I knew I was doing the right thing.  My journey to get into my fashion course was a long and sometimes very strained one that to be at the point I am now I never saw coming.

As I previously mentioned body confidence is something I really struggle with so for me having my photo taken is a bit of an ordeal, I have always preferred to be behind the camera instead of in front ( unless I am controlling it)   I think that even being plus-size you can still feel intimidated by plus size models in magazines, even the models that are supposed to be aimed towards me are still a body type that I cannot relate to, every model that I see is still five foot nine and a size twelve to fourteen. I am five foot eight and a size sixteen to twenty four dependent on brand and cut.I called this post the wrong kind of fat because that it how society makes me feel, even being in a niche market such as plus-size I still dont fit what society wants me to conform to.  I still find myself struggling to find models I can relate to, I however have taken to online blogs to find my own inspirational figures which for me include:

944202_660742993951409_1496408858_n

 

Tess Munster – http://tessmunster.com/

1377485149_mary-lambert-zoom

 

Mary Lambert- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-z9XuuyLEYnadiaaboulhosnstreetwear_zps12ccec7bNadia Aboulhoson- http://www.nadiaaboulhosn.com/

Another big part of finding inspiration for me is instagram, I have found so so many beautiful confident plus-size women through the hastag #effyourbeautystandards. I know myself that I have a long way to go with securing my confidence levels but I have come up with 5 simple points that have helped me:

1.  Wear what makes you happy– apple shape pear shape hourglass whatever ! wear what you feel happy in because when something makes you feel happy you will be at your most confident if you dont like something it will immediately show through your attitude and face.

2. True confidence comes from within- as cliche as it sounds you have to start from the inside out when trying to improve your confidence levels, if like me anxiety has a huge part to play in your confidence levels ensure that you have your anxiety controlled before you can even begin to work on your confidence levels. For me its a simple as pre-planning an outfit the day before or taking half an hour out of my day to do something for myself

3. Surround yourself with good people– to many times in my life I have had negative people around me and I believe you really absorb your energies from what you have around you

4. You get back what you put out-  One of my strongest beliefs in life is that you get back everything that you put out. If you are negative then negativity will find you whereas being confident and positive even when you aren’t feeling it will slowly but surely help improve your mood

5. eff your beauty standards- As I previously mentioned effyourbeautystandards is a great online movement, spreading the message that we have to ignore societys pre set beauty standards and find our own. society is stuck in a size 0 world and unfortunately despite best efforts I feel like it will take a long time to change so we have to do our best to show that you can be any size, shape, colour, gender, religion, sexual orientation whatever and you can still being amazing and beautiful!

I hope that this post was helpful to you guys I am going to make confidence post a regular thing on my blog but I wanted to use this bloggers unite challenge to begin this journey with you guys.

If you want any more information please email me or check out the links down below

http://plusconfidenceinyou.wix.com/anita-bellamy

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1764174458/definition-of-size

Until next time, bye guys! xo

OOTD: Tartan Smock Dress

fashion, Lifestyle, Make-up, photography, Plus size, Style

So I am officially 100% done with second year now, we had our end of year show last weekend in Stormont parliament buildings. Not just being biased because I was backstage but seriously we put on a brilliant show and if the audience reaction was anything to go by we did really good. I have spent the last week relaxing down in my dads house, also anyone from Northern Ireland will be able to vouch for me when I say we have had incredible weather all week, some days even hit 25oc which is a big deal for Belfast.

I have therefore had to adapt my wardrobe to suite this, one piece that is another recent pic up is this lovely Evans grey check smock dress that I got in the sale online for £16.20. I love the fit and shape of this dress its girly but comfortable and in my opinion very flattering on my body shape. IMG_1235 IMG_1239

 

Paired with the dress I am wearing my plain black newlook slipons that I scored in the sale for a bargain price of £3!!

IMG_1247 IMG_1251One item I am super excited to share with you guys is my new Accessorize Richmond satchel backpack in Lilac (£35)

http://uk.accessorize.com/view/product/uk_catalog/acc_17,acc_1.1/5893317000    ( this is the pink nude version the lilac isnt online)

I picked this up as my end of year treat to myself, as a handbag backpack collector ( collector sounds better than addict right?) I justified it because it isnt just a satchel its also a backpack thanks to the two different straps that come with the bag. I have literally used it every day since I got it as it is the perfect size for everything I need to carry on  a daily basis.

To see just what I carry around watch the video below:

IMG_1081 IMG_1096 IMG_1098 In other news on the 1/6/14 myself and my little sister abbey took part in the Race for Life in memory of our grandmother who passed away from Cancer in 2008 despite the rain it was a great day and I am so happy to have helped raise money for such  a brilliant cause!

Until next time 🙂 xo