Lumps,bumps and the art of not giving a crap

Belfast, Personal, Plus size, Positivity

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My love my love my love my love
You love my lady lumps- Fergie

I know, I know how elegant a title you are probably now wondering to what level of Shakespearean quality am I about to type, what beautiful sonnet doth my hands yearn to type but alas that is not my style. Instead I decided to begin with a Fergie lyric. I wanted to update you all on my journey in the last couple of years of self acceptance leading to self love. Believe me if there was a ten step programme to this then I would be currently typing in my own private yacht on the outskirts of some beautiful Greek island, This journey is totally different for everyone involved. For some it will take years whilst others might reach their temporary end point much sooner and what is so crucial is that we learn to not measure our own growth against others.

I call it a temporary end because I truly believe that I dont think that we ever finished with self love and acceptance because as we age change and develop so to do our feelings and emotional requirements. T-j in 2017 is a totally different creature than T-j of 2007 full of different needs and emotions and it is so important to learn to adapt to that need. What reignited this interest for me was recently I have been have several different conversations with girls I know through social media, in real life and everything in between about a variety of topics which all centre around the theme of self love.

To get started my core principal all revolves around the art of not actually giving a crap about the option of others, within reason. I dont advocate being ignorant or knowingly rude however it is your life, look and body and you are the only one you have to make happy. If you like it wear it, it you want bright yellow hair then bleach it. I understand all of this is easier said than done and it is hard if maybe those around you aren’t supportive of your decisions, you come up against work constraints or whatever it may be but as long as it doesn’t negatively impact you then what do you have to lose? the experimentation stage doesn’t end when your teenage years do. If you want to experiment go for it ! The key to it is to not place excess credit in others.  Something I struggled with massively is the concept of if you dont see it then you can’t be it. Growing up there were not alot of plus-size people in the media. The plus-size character in a show was the funny one, a one dimensional character who didn’t get to add alot to the plot of the show, and don’t get me started on the lack of any plus-size models on the scene I saw Crystal Renn during her plus-size heyday when I was in my mid teens but at that point I had already spent 14 years as a tall, chunky, ginger so I had began to develop my own sense of self. I mean I had no confidence but I was developing my “style.”

These days I would definitely say I have found a way to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. Don’t get me wrong I have off days that is 100% normal but now I place my measure in how something makes me feel as opposed to worrying if it is going to be liked by others, for example this look. If you had told me even 6 months ago I would be parading around Belfast in a mesh top with a bralet I would have called you crazy. Now  it doesn’t fill me with dread I was actually super in to this look and decided to shoot it in several of my favourite locations.

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 I want to continue with this series of talking more openly and creating the coversation about body image on this platform so please do let me know what topics you would like me to cover. 

OUTFIT DETAILS

Mesh top- Ebay

Bralette- New Look Curves

Culottes- Primark

Trainers- Primark

Denim Jacket- Primark

My Soul- Primark

 

 

BYTAYLORJAYNE

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Chapter 24

Personal, Positivity, Self love

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‘You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Day One of being 23

welcome to chapter 24 of the book we call T-J.I have previously written posts on turning 22 and 23 so i thought I would keep up traditions and write a post about my thoughts and feelings about becoming 24.

Now that I am 24  I can officially say that I have been blogging, vlogging or putting myself online in some form or another for the last eight years which is mind-blowing really, I was an completely different person at sixteen than I am now. It is crazy to think it has been so long because the whole thing has been such a journey from somewhere where all my confidence was a show to now where I can say I am confident and truly happy.  It is so true when people say fake it till you make it because this is so true of my own confidence journey, maybe some would disagree but I would say that I have always tried to give off vibes of being super confident even on days when it is easier said than done.

It took me such a long time to be happy with my personal style, I spent far too long hiding behind all black outfits in an attempt to sink into the back ground but these days I am all about shorter dresses, fishnets and metallic everything. I don’t want to give the impression however that any of this is easy because trust and believe me when I said it is the hardest thing you can do however it is the most worthwhile thing. You are in your body for your entire life and the moment you make it a happy place to be is the moment you let more important decisions happen.

It is so easy to look back on your life and only focus on the negative, times where you allowed your mental illnesses to take hold and dictate your every move. Times when you surrounded yourself with s many “friends” because you thought it was a numbers game instead of quality over quantity,  times where the decisions you made where more to ensure that you kept others happy instead of taking your own feelings into consideration. Never EVER feel guilty or selfish for taking the me time that we all need, a walk by yourself, a solo coffee date or really just anything which makes you feel better. It is so important to take the me time call seriously.

23 was stressful, fulfilling, exciting, scary, happy, eventful and everything in between but for me it was the most me I have ever been and if I take one thing into chapter 24 it would be to never stop being 1000% me , flabby bits and all

BYTAYLORJAYNE

#FatSabbath : Belfast’s First Plus-size Clothes Swap

event, Fashion, fashion week, Launch Party, Lifestyle, Plus size, Positivity, Self love, Style

 

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DISCLAIMER: To give full credit to the organisers all of my images were taken after the initial rush at the beginning of the event. Therefore the tables look messy because at that point they were but at the beginning I was much too excited to take photos of just how lovely the set up was pre-swap. 

On Sunday 4th October the Black Box bar in Belfast hosted the first ever plus-size clothing swap. Fat Sabbath was something that a friend of mine linked me to on Facebook a couple of months back and when I read that they were planning a clothing swap day I got mega excited, I have heard of clothing swaps before and thought that they seemed like a great idea but to have one right here in Belfast that was aimed towards plus-size was a super exciting discovery!

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One of the organisers was a good blogger friend of mine Claire from French for Cupcake who also provided Cupcakes for the event day which were amazing and all the money donate on the day for entry and for the cupcakes all went straight to the Rainbow Project charity.

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So on the day the doors were opened at 12:30pm so that we could all donate our items receive our swap tokens and help set up the tables full of items, I attended with my mum and sister and together we had about 60 items including clothing, shoes and accessories. Once we had the items checked off everyone helped set up the tables full of items. It was all organised into sizing which made it super easy to find items which were going to work for you. What I loved most about the concept was that it was items that I was going to end up donating anyway and this way I was able to pick up things which I wouldn’t probably have picked up in the shops or items which I thought I could re-purpose for something else.

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My favourite thing about the event, besides a whole new wardrobe of clothes, was just getting time to talk to girls who are more relatable to me. I actually spent most of my day chatting and laughing with the girls about all things fashion, some of you may be aware that six months ago I moved jobs to work for Evans Clothing as my interest in fashion had moved into focusing on the concept of working within plus-size fashion, so it was just lovely to spend time talking to women that are the same as me, have the same issues with clothing and most importantly were just a lovely bunch of ladies to spend a Sunday afternoon with.

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I decided to focus my attention on looking for pieces which I would typically pick-up so I got alot of print, pattern, colour and sequins which I felt would be a great additions and pieces that would make me think more outside the box with my own fashion choices. I think alot of that mentality is down to Netflix releasing the Iris documentary which if you have watched you need to watch it and the Advanced Style documentaries ASAP! I am planning on showing you guys some of the pieces I got but I want to do it through creating a series of outfit posts which I am currently working on, which should be coming up in the next few weeks.

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I just want to put a final HUGE thank you in her to the amazing girls including Claire and Amy ( I know there are others but I didn’t catch everyone’s names sorry) for making such an amazing event, the space was great for the event and I know everyone that I spoke to during the day was having an amazing time! I have heard rumours of the next event being organised for the new year so I am keeping hold of my left over tokens and cannot wait to see what the next was has in store!

I wish now I had got more pictures but I was too busy enjoying myself to be as snap happy as I would want to be

Again the Fat Sabbath Facebook page can be found HERE if you guys want to keep an eye out for when the next event will take place

Until next time…T-j xo